Imitating Art
by LJG
Summary: A post-309 gap-filler that shows where the boys heads are with respect to their rekindled relationship . A few honest conversations all around might be just the thing. Well, that and some great sex. Am currently re-editing a bunch of gapfillers and one very long series that used to live on an old yahoo site. Will happily post them here if there's interest. Please review!


Justin realized that one way to make sure things seemed normal, or as normal as they were likely to get between he and Brian, was for him convey that he was all right with tricking. That Brian would continue the practice was a given; it was how they were going to handle that fact which needed a little work.

As usual, Daphne, budding fag-hag extraordinaire, offered an unsolicited suggestion. "You should be the one to bring it up." She told him. "Just say something that shows you assume he is and that you aren't wigging."

"Like what?" Justin looked askance at his friend. "Hey Brian –I realize you fuck other guys and by the way, I'm fine with it? Yeah – that's a great idea." His tone conveyed his contempt for the plan.

"Oh right - I forgot how you guys fear the direct approach." The pretty brunette rolled her eyes. "What was I thinking?"

"We don't fear it." Justin protested. "We just… prefer to avoid it."

"God, you are such a pair of losers." She scolded. "And you haven't fooled me into thinking it's just him either. Does Brian mind that he gets all the blame for you both being emotional cowards?"

Justin attempted to dispute the veracity of her statement. "That's hardly fair."

"I'll say." His roommate laughed at him. "He might not discuss the parameters of your relationship, but you won't push him either… although you used to know better. So who does that make the bigger idiot – you or him?"

Having no comeback for her frustratingly accurate assessments, Justin threw a pillow at his friend. "Are you sure you aren't taking any Psych this semester?"

"Abnormal Psych is the only thing that would cover you two and that's a third year course." She informed him with a grin.

"Thanks." He shook his head and laughed. "Can we talk about your love life now, cause I've got a few things to say about Colin the conceited."

"Would you stop calling him that!"

"Well he is."

"He is not." Daphne objected. "You're basing that on one isolated incident."

"Don't get me wrong – I like the guy, but why else would he do it?"

"He was stoned."

"We were all stoned, but he was the only one to drop his pants."

"He just had more balls than everyone else, that's all."

"Just the two… that I could see. Well, me and the everyone else you just referred to."

"So what?" She shrugged. "Those girls on the roof flashed when everyone shouted 'show us your tits'."

"Yeah - after the queer in the pink sun-hat had the crowd chanting it for five minutes." Justin reminded her. "Only three rounds of 'show us your cock_'_ and Colin had his pants around his knees. Straight guys are so easy."

"It was the pride parade – he was feeling impulsive. It's not like he thought about it."

"And the second time… when he did it for the guy's camera?"

Daphne just laughed. "Ok, so I can't believe he did it either – but that was ages ago and I wasn't even dating him then – can you drop it please?"

"Fine." He agreed. "As long as you don't bug me to talk tricks with Brian."

"I was done anyway."

"Let him know I know – that's all you were gonna give me? Pretty lame advice." Justin scoffed. "What kind of friend are you, anyway?"

"The kind who just got told to butt out." She reminded him. "Seriously, though – straightforward is the way to go. Just wait for an opportunity to present itself and then be casual about it. Assuming…" She trailed off and raised her eyebrows.

"Assuming?" He repeated mockingly.

"Assuming you really are okay with it."

Justin was silent a moment, while he thought about that. He was okay with it, but didn't know quite how to explain it. "You know it's hardly my favorite thing about Brian, but it doesn't hurt either."

"Not at all?"

"Not anymore." Justin explained. "There is Brian's persona and then there's _Brian_. The indiscriminant fucking is simply part of the persona that he and everyone else is comfortable with, whether they realize it or not. And everyone else… even family and friends usually get just the persona, whereas I almost always get just Brian. Make sense?"

"Strangely enough, yeah."

"It's just not as important as it was." Justin finished. "Maybe this time we can enjoy being together without any stupid conditions."

"I hope so."

The opportunity to take Daphne's advice had come sooner than Justin anticipated.

He and Brian had ventured out to Babylon for some dancing, and in the process - proving once more to those watching that they were again the Avenue's leading lovebirds. However, they had to cut short their live-sex show, as Justin had a meeting with his adviser the next day.

Justin's professor had a fondness for early morning office hours and the artist had little choice but to see him then. He wanted to be mentally alert and thus had figured on being in his bed at a decent hour. What he hadn't figured was that Brian would leave as well and offer to drive him home.

"You want to have dinner tomorrow?" The invitation was tossed towards the Corvette's plush passenger seat.

"Sure." Justin smiled. "Is that a sneaky way of asking me to come over and cook for you again? "

"We can go out if you want." Brian offered. "I just thought you liked to cook. Since you refuse to let me see the hovel you kids refer to as an apartment, I can only assume that my kitchen is superior to Daphne's."

"To say the least." Justin agreed. "I'm sure you'd just make fun of it… but I like it."

"Her kitchen?"

"The whole thing. Living in a student building… having a roommate – even if she is a girl… Just doing the whole independent thing. It's nice."

Brian knew that Justin hadn't really done the whole 'independent thing' with the fiddler; he'd simply been floundering and killing time. Brian was glad he seemed to be feeling a little more settled now. "Well, you'll have to let me come up next time so I can see how nice Daphne thinks it is." He continued, tongue in cheek. "Remember - you're talking to someone who knows what a slob you are."

"I'm not that bad!" Justin jabbed a finger in the man's side.

"Hey – driving here." Brian scowled. "Poke me later."

"Love to. Listen – wherever we eat - we should finish by nine if we're going to meet the guys. Emmett wants to talk to me about designing a business card for him."

"Make sure you charge him." Brian advised absently, knowing he'd be ignored. "And I told Michael we'd be at Woody's by then, anyway."

"I still can't believe they closed it." Justin remained aghast.

"It was open again the next day." Brian reminded him. "They're just making a little noise until the election – trying to prove Stockwell really is cleaning things up."

"What's to clean?" Justin persisted. "It was just a stupid little strip tease and the money goes to charity for Christ's sake. It's not like anyone was fucking on the stage."

"Now _that_ might have been entertaining."

Justin gave him a look. "And don't even get me started on the fact that he fired you."

"Don't worry… I won't." The man assured him, rolling his eyes and realizing that it was too late - Justin had already started.

"How could you help him after that?"

"Because he pays me." Brian pointed out. "Look – you're the one who's all about second chances. So, the guy worried about having a fag on staff and flipped out. He's gotten used to the idea and now he's fine with it."

"It's not that simple." Justin looked over and addressed his lover. "Seriously Brian, this is bullshit. If the guy's like this now, what's going to happen if you actually get him elected?"

"There's no if about it." Brian corrected. "And nothing is going to happen. Pittsburgh will go back to business as usual, except that I'll have a client list that should make me an equal partner at Vanguard instead of a junior one."

Justin sighed, dropping the matter for now. "Then I'd better get all of you that I can, before you're too important to fuck an intern."

"I think it's safe to say that no one is above fucking the interns." Brian snorted in amusement. "Besides - I'm certain you'll make it worth my while to lower myself."

"Well, I'd oblige you right now, but I don't want to be worn out when I see my advisor."

"Why the fuck to you have to meet him so early, anyway?" Brian asked as he turned onto Justin and Daphne's street.

"He likes to keep students on their toes I guess; I don't know." Justin shrugged. "It's the only time I could go anyway - I can't fit it in on a lunch hour."

"I suspect the boss would understand if you need to duck out early."

"Doubtful." Justin countered with a grin. "He already told me not to expect any special treatment. Besides – there's a lot going on tomorrow and I don't want to leave Murph short handed."

"So… does delivering you to your door constitute special treatment?"

"I don't know about that, but it is appreciated." Justin smiled at him. "You really didn't need to drive me back, though." He reiterated when they pulled in front of his building. "I know you've got better things to do."

"Like what?"

"Like the brunet who was ogling you in the back room, for a start. He stared at you the whole time we were doing it."

"I'm sure he wasn't the only one." Brian said confidently. "And if you noticed anything besides my dick up your ass, then my technique must be slipping."

"Not a chance." Justin assured him. "The drooling was just hard to miss, that's all. By the time we left there may even have been a puddle where he was standing."

"Well, who wants ass that easy?"

"Still – he was pretty hot." Justin shrugged. "Anyway, it's not that late and the guys are likely to be camped out for awhile. You should go back - have a good time." He leaned in and kissed Brian soundly, then reached for the door handle. "I'll give you a shout after work if I don't see you at the office, okay?"

Brian was wearing a perplexed expression, but managed. "Okay."

He had one leg out of the Vette when Brian grabbed his jacket. "Hey." He pulled the kid back and leaned across the seat to meet him.

Justin turned his head and barely got out a "Yeah?" before Brian covered his mouth in a dizzying kiss.

The artist was instantly awash with feelings of warmth as Brian's lips demanded and received immediate entry past his. Rousing himself from the shock of the gesture, he managed to take some control of the kiss himself, his tongue seeking out and stroking Brian's.

After a moment the older man pulled back and Justin opened his eyes to find Brian gazing into them, as though searching for something. From the satisfied expression he wore Justin assumed whatever it was had been found.

Brian leaned in to brush his lips against Justin's once more, then released his hold on the young man's jacket and smoothed out the few wrinkles. "Later." He offered, as he settled back in front of the wheel.

"Later". A confused but happy Justin echoed as he got out of the car and walked into his building.

Thursday night found Brian on the phone with a potential trick he'd run across at the gym that afternoon. He felt a slight twinge while calling the number the guy had eagerly pressed into his hand, but he decided it was nothing more than some gastronomically offensive diner food making its presence known.

It wasn't a feeling of guilt over planning to fuck someone other than Justin – not at all. And it _certainly_ wasn't confusion or regret. In fact, it wasn't an emotion at all – it was indigestion plain and simple. And even if it were said feeling, it would be gone before the guy arrived. Speaking of which, he and the guy were firming up arrangements to firm up other things, having just agreed on nine o'clock, when…

Bzzzzz

"Hang on." He told the trick before covering the mouthpiece, and pressing the intercom button. "Yeah?"

"Hey. It's me – I'm seeking refuge from the straight sex taking place at home." Justin sounded faintly out of breath. "Can I kill a couple hours here, or are you in the middle of something?"

"Come on up."

Brian put the phone back to his ear and spoke briefly before ending the call. "On second thought – let's make it eleven."

He walked over to the charger and set the phone back in its cradle, then went towards the fridge for a beer. He was unscrewing the cap just as the loft door slid open.

"Hey." Justin said again, as he began to remove his scarf and jacket.

Hey." Brian greeted him in reply. "I told you last time to use your key."

"Thanks, but I don't think it's a great idea to just barge in. You might have company or something."

"Not for another few hours." Brian gave a sheepish grin, wondering about the kid's reaction to tricking, despite the recent implication that he was fine with it.

Justin smiled indulgently. "Well that's lucky for me… since I promised Daphne I'd give her some privacy for awhile tonight. Deb's was my next choice, although from what I understand, there may be straight sex there too." He made a horrified face and shivered. "Ghaa!"

"Don't even…" Brian also gave a shudder of revulsion, and held up a hand to ward off anything else that suggested heterosexual copulation. That Justin's comment also referred to a parental figure simply made it that much more nauseating.

"I know." Justin scrunched up his nose in sympathy.

"Anyway…" Brian took a swig of his beer. "It's still stupid of you to buzz– even if I did have company - you'd be welcome to join us." He wiggled his eyebrows with enthusiasm.

"That's… um …sweet?" Justin offered with a laugh. "But tonight I have to get some stuff done. Anyway… it's not just that. "He walked over to the counter chairs and draped his coat over one of them. "I don't want to intrude - you might be working… or just not in the mood to see anyone."

"That's always the case, but you're the exception to that rule, Sunshine." Brian grinned and took another swig of his beer.

Justin reddened slightly in what Brian considered an adorably bashful way. "Cut it out." He demurred.

"What?" Brian put down his beer and walked over, still grinning.

"You're being too nice."

"Well, that's a new one." The man laughed.

"I mean it." Justin insisted. "It makes me feel guilty."

"What did you do?" Brian grabbed his waist and pulled him close, assuming an aspect of mock horror. "You haven't done something to my new blender, I hope."

Justin went willingly into the embrace, but continued his point. "You know what I mean, Brian... I still feel bad."

The older man sighed, then looked down at his lover and raised an eyebrow. "What do you want me to do – punish you?"

"This isn't a joke." Justin squirmed a little in the arms that detained him, wanting to be taken seriously by their owner.

"Who's joking – you want a hair shirt, or what?" Brian playfully pushed him away. "Why don't you forget it already? You know I'm not mad."

Justin nodded and walked over to the fridge to get his own beer. "Did you care enough to be mad?" He ventured.

The brunet was silent a moment and Justin was glad his back was turned. "I thought you knew better than that." Brian finally said.

The young man had been trying to relearn Kinney-speak and as far as he could recall, that statement might mean 'Of course I care, asshole', or 'we have an agreement not to talk about this'. Or both. Either way, Justin had the correct answer. "I did. I do… it's just…" He took a haul of his beer and thought better of this conversation. "…nothing. I'm sorry. Forget it."

Brian walked behind the counter and put his hands on Justin's shoulders. "Go on." He looked into the kid's face and endeavored to appear receptive. He had, after all, promised himself to at least try not to fuck up this time.

Justin took another drink and then put his bottle on the counter. "I guess I keep waiting for it to come up again." He explained. "It just seemed too easy for you to let it go and I find myself wondering when the other shoe is going to drop." He chanced a direct look at Brian, bracing himself for derision.

"Why? Because I didn't feel it necessary to have a hissy fit?" Brian asked. "Well – not with witnesses, anyway."

Justin gave a timid smile. "You did?"

"You are so bizarre." Brian told him with a slight scowl. "You feel bad when I don't act angry – but I confess to a bit of angst and you're happy."

"I'm happy when I think you care."

Brian gently bumped his forehead into Justin's, hoping to knock a little sense back into him. "Then just be happy already."

"So you _were_ upset?" Justin couldn't help but look for more detail, as soon as his lover let go and picked up his beer again.

Brian rolled his eyes. "Of course."

"You don't act like it." Justin pointed out.

"Well, I was upset then, but I'm less upset now. How long do you want me to be upset?" This kid was going to be the death of him.

Justin was quick to wrap his arms around Brian and lay his head against the man's back. "You know I don't."

Brian sighed and placed a hand over Justin's. "Look, I'm not going to bring up the Ian shit again later, okay?" He briefly loosened his lover's embrace and turned in his arms. "Well, I'll try not to." He amended. "It depends on whether you're winning an argument and if I'm out of ammo."

"Hey…" Came the expected protest.

Brian contrived to look innocent. "You know me; I fight dirty… I can't help it."

"Asshole." Justin was now the one to shove his lover away.

Brian grinned at him and took another drink. "Look, whatever I might say under duress, I don't blame you, all right? You weren't happy and you looked for something you thought might make you feel that way." He continued seriously, having resolved to be better at this shit. "So… you had some lousy timing and used some worse judgment… but you didn't kill anybody."

"It wasn't that simple."

There was a moment of silence until Brian's rhetorical question. "Did you want to make me unhappy?"

"A little, I think… yeah."

"Fair enough." He shrugged. "Maybe you thought I deserved it."

"You didn't deserve it, Brian." Justin was quick to refute. "It was a shitty thing to do."

"But at the time – maybe you felt provoked." He handed the blond his beer.

"Yeah - I guess." He knew it was true – back then he'd felt like Brian gave him no choice.

"And in retrospect, _was_ there any provocation?"

"Maybe a little."

"Maybe more than a little." Brian reminded him "So - you got caught up. It was something new and maybe even something better… for awhile anyway."

"It was never better." Justin assured him emphatically, wanting to make certain Brian knew just how true it was.

"It doesn't matter." The man continued. "I don't begrudge you the experiences you should be having at your age – even if they don't always fit into my plans."

Justin walked over to Brian and looked up into his eyes. "But I want to fit into your plans."

Running his free hand up Justin's thigh, Brian leaned in to tease. "That's not all you want to fit in to."

"I'm serious."

"I know." Brian told him. "I'm just not sure that I always know what they are. But I'll try to keep you posted." He kissed Justin lightly on the lips, and enjoyed the soft malt aroma of Samuel Adams finest.

When they broke, Justin ran his tongue over his own lips, making sure Brian was watching. "Would you like to hear my plans for the next little while?"

The man cocked one brow lasciviously. "I believe I would."

An hour later, having fucked his young lover into the mattress and looking forward to doing so again, Brian lit a joint and propped himself up against the headboard.

Beside him Justin stretched, working out kinks he'd acquired in the name of kink. "I missed that." He said as he scooted up next to Brian.

"Well, now you don't have to." He blew out a smoke ring and idly caressed the young man's stomach.

Justin turned his head to observe him. "You sure all this nice shit isn't just some elaborate mind fuck?"

"Not the sort of fuck I had in mind, no." Brian told him with a wry grin. "Listen …swear that you're going to let this go, okay? It's boring. Just think of it as another one of those bullshit life-experiences that everyone is supposed to have... how to have your first break up."

"Fine – I swear. Although…." His smile became a smirk. "…you _do_ realize that in order for us to break up we would've had to be in a relationship first."

Brian closed his eyes in defeat. Busted. "Now who's fighting dirty."

Justin rolled over so that he was straddling his lover, took the joint from his hand, and had a toke before putting it out. "You haven't seen anything yet." He promised.

After the trick had departed, Brian took his third shower of the day and reflected on the last couple of weeks. He and Justin had naturally seen a lot of each other given that they were still in what he overheard Debbie referring to as 'the honeymoon phase' of their reconciliation. Little did she know that Brian had always felt like that around Justin; experienced the same calamitous desire for him that he had since day one. Was a slave to the same addiction of the sight or scent of him, to his touch. If he hadn't been sure of that before, then tonight would have brought the point home. Having that mediocre trick blow him had been a waste of time.

Not that Brian felt bad per se about tricking. Justin had truly seemed fine with it; even though Brian knew he wished it would stop. He appeared to accept it though. At least for now. So what plagued Brian were not feelings of guilt, but of annoyance that the encounter really hadn't done a thing for him. Actually, to be fair, the guy had been more than just mediocre, but compared to Justin… well there was no comparison. It was as simple as that.

God… the things that kid had done to him. He couldn't think of the last time that he'd had such a scorching sexual experience. He'd felt the need to stop at one point – just for a second while he made contact with those clear blue eyes. He'd needed to see the love in them, even if he didn't want to hear it aloud.

Strange then, was his impulse to speak the words himself. However, he chose to place the blame for that psychotic inclination on Justin's prowess as a lover. For the blond certainly kept him on the edge of sanity and control for the better part of an hour… bringing him to the brink again and again, and keeping him there with that velvet tongue and those artists' hands. Brian had felt akin to unshaped clay, willing to be molded into whatever form would most please his lover… at least in this venue. Out of bed was a more difficult matter.

He continued soaping himself and realized he was hard yet again. Christ – five minutes of attention from the recently departed trick had got him marginally erect, but a moments contemplation of sex with Justin and he was rock hard. It wasn't fair.

He wondered if the young man had understood him when he'd told the trick who Justin was. Did he know all that Brian was trying to communicate? That he was trying to convey, however awkwardly, that Justin was the only one that mattered – would ever matter. That these casual fucks barely warranted a second thought whereas Justin was almost always on his mind. If not front and center, then certainly somewhere nearby.

This was new to him, this going out and well… kind of... dating thing. He was very aware that it was something they'd never done before, and though uncomfortable with the custom, he found himself strangely pleased by it.

Thinking again of the latest Rage issue he'd picked up from Mikey after work, Brian wondered if the comic's blowjob story line might actually be on to something. He didn't know if he'd thawed exactly, but there was a certain slushiness about his heart that hadn't been there before Justin got so ensconced in his life. Maybe with a little practice, not to mention more mind-blowing head, Brian was going to better than he thought at this relationship stuff. Maybe it was as simple as life imitating art.


End file.
